So I recently saw this video:

then I started reading the comments. Many people saying how lovely it is to be complimented and most of these men are just being polite. And I get that I do, and I'm sure the majority are making innocuous remarks (because I have hope in humanity).

But I've been in numerous situations, usually on public transport where I'm confined, where strangers have initiated a conversation, in a seemingly harmless way and thus it seems rude if I ignore them but if I do respond, the conversation has often taken an insidious turn. What's more disturbing for me, is the this happened 10 fold more when I was in high school than now. And looking back I was clearly being preyed on, as I'm sure I appeared more vulnerable then than I do now. Especially as the people making comments toward me were almost always much older.

So of course, these experiences have made me more cynical about any stranger who talks to me, I want to believe in the best of people but I can't help always holding some degree of suspicion.

Nonetheless, to balance out these negative experiences, I know there are plenty of good people out there. There are the times people have offered me a seat, or waited for me to exit a train before they did, out of genuine and sheer politeness. Because these people did not in any way, try to pursue a conversation with me or make me feel threatened. This goes for both women and men. In short, people who do something nice and expect nothing in return are my heroes.

Just my thoughts,
Love Lisa.

Christmas Casual

After almost 40 job applications (no exaggeration), 4 interview offers and 1 interview actually attended. I have finally been employed for the summer, well I've yet to sign a contract but I've gotten the email welcoming to the company. To think I almost passed up the opportunity as well, as I had to skip a few hours of uni for the interview.

I need to shift my view of myself. I was definitely always a shy and unconfident girl growing up. And even though I've changed, I still always think I will fall flat on my face in social interactions, including job interviews. I always assumed that people weren't going to like me for who I am, so I didn't speak, always afraid I'll make a fool out of myself. Look, I did stumble over some words and got a little flustered in my interview but I didn't let it get to me, and it worked out for me in the end.

So really, it was always me holding myself back. Overanalysing every situation, replaying conversations in my mind, feeling embarrassed I acted a certain way and always scared of being wrong. I'm not suddenly some confident, sassy, dare I say, woman?! (I still feel young, but calling me a woman sounds weird.) But I'm also far from being the tight-lipped and (seemingly) unapproachable girl I was in my childhood.

There's hope for me yet,

Love Lisa.

"Still a better love story than..."

You know what comes next. With every comment on videos, photos, new articles even, I lose a little hope in the internet community. It makes me cringe so much on the inside (I'm sure my face is probably puckering up in distaste as well), then when I see a multitude of people liking those posts, my insides just shrivel up and wither away.

Since I'm on a roll, the term 'bae' makes me want to never open up instagram or facebook ever again, lest I have to lay eyes on that word. Am I the only person on the world wide web that can't stand this kind of thing?!

I could go on indefinitely but I have a statistics exam to complete.

Love Lisa.

はかない

Someone I was once close to, a lifetime ago, passed away. Probably the person closest to me that's ever passed away. I am not sure what happened, nor do I feel it is appropriate to ask at this point in time. I was in disbelief when I first found out, and it still feels surreal. I do feel so terribly for their family & friends, I can't imagine what they must be going through.

It comes as a rude awakening for me. If I die tomorrow, what will I have achieved in my 22 years? What will people remember me for? The girl that never stopped studying, that had too much self discipline to enjoy life?

I do apologise if I'm coming across as too self-absorbed in this post. I know I shouldn't exactly be thinking about me. But this, among other recent events, has made me re-evaluate my existence.

Don't leave till tomorrow what you can do today, savour the beautiful moments in life, leave behind any negativity and don't be afraid to do something new because life is fleetingly short.

Love Lisa.

Red Velvet Shmelvet

Am I the only person who prefers chocolate cupcakes over red velvet? Don't get me wrong, I love all cupcakes but I am not understanding the fuss over red velvet, nor the craze over macarons. Although, perhaps it is my inherent tendency to abhor anything that has become a 'trend' that is influencing my judgement.

In other news, I am ever so close to being employed for summer! I attended a group interview for Sunglass Hut on Wednesday and received a call from the manager that interviewed me today. She told me she really wants to hire me but just needs to speak to one of my references, both of whom did not answer their phone today (understandable as it is the weekend). She promised to try again on Tuesday but called today to ensure she would not 'leave me hanging', her words! She's so lovely :)

I also went through a week of assessments & exams. Had my 3rd and final cons practice exam on Friday, mixed feelings on how I went. I did better this time than last for sure, but whether it is enough for me to pass, only time will tell.

Next week is another hectic week and then after that is SwotVac & straight into 6 consecutive exams. Trying to not freak out about it, because the circumstances are so ridiculous I can't fathom how I will be able to study for everything within a 9 day period... I guess I'll just somehow deal with it along the way.

Also, I am so so desperate to get back into photography, but I'll have to wait until after exams as photoshop can consume days of my life without me realising.

Final note, bring on the warm weather Melbourne, I'm sick of wearing coats and sick of getting sick.

Until next time!

Love, Lisa.