Thoughts: Being True To Oneself

I feel as though all of last year, I was always caught up with something, one worry or stress turned into a another and the culmination of negativity took both a mental and physical toll on me. The past few days, I've really been thinking, just contemplating the past, my experiences, and my own reactions at the time.

I am somewhat old fashioned. Not in a superficial manner, or in any way that you could tell just by looking at me. But it's hard to explain, ever since I was a child I was concerned with things beyond my years.One of these is money. I've diligently scrimped and saved since I could comprehend the concept of money. I know part of that was instilled in me by my parents (indirectly) but I think it's so much more than that. I was acutely aware of how difficult life would be without money, without ever actually experiencing it myself, that I agonised over any money lost, wasted or spent unnecessarily as a child. Bizarre, right?

I am sentimental, to a unhealthy degree. I become what would be considered irrationally upset when people are unable to understand why something that they hold little significance to, means so damn much to me. (How's that for a convoluted sentence?). I know that people 'hooking up' with strangers at parties, clubs and so forth is a incredibly common and normal occurrence, for people of varying ages, am I correct? The thought of myself partaking in such an act, actually unnerves and dare I say, disgusts me, in a inexplicable way. I don't find it strange when other people do it, nor do I disapprove exactly, it's just something that I, personally, never have nor ever will do. And when I say I will never do something, it's not difficult for me to uphold promises like that.

The values that I hold are so deeply ingrained in my being. None of the examples I can give really exemplify the intensity of what I believe in, in fact, they're barely scratching the surface.

Love, Lisa.

PS. I think the word I was looking for in my second paragraph was 'old soul'. Not that I believe I was wise, but I think I've understood far more than I should have as a child, which, in turn, prevented me from ever truly being 'just a kid'.