Overload

It has been an incredibly long hiatus. This year is just going over my head and I'm drowning in it all. I wanted the first blog post that I wrote to be about sharing the better moments in my life but right now all I want to do is unload everything that's weighing me down.

First and foremost, I moved house. Initially it was exciting, I've always wanted my parents to own their own home. But it wasn't before long that it became the most stressful period of my life in the past half decade. Compounding this, I no longer even wanted to move, I know, it sounds ridiculous when I had so many complaints about my old house. But that old, creaky, carpeted, damask wallpapered house was my home for the past 17 years, it was everything I knew. Yes, you may think, of course it's normal to miss your old home, but my reaction was to the absolute extreme. Even now, a week after the move I still feel down about it.

Moving on, I failed an exam for the first time. It was a practical exam as well, the one part of dentistry I thought I was doing well in. Perhaps that was in my sub-conscious the past few months as well, the creeping thoughts that maybe I'll never be a good dentist and the next 4 years will be a terrible mistake. I keep thinking as well maybe I would have suited optom, or even med more, and it makes me feel sick inside.
Rationally, I know it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be but I've just been very cynical as of late.

I'll end this here as I don't want to bring myself or any one reading down with my negativity.

Until happier times,

Love Lisa.