Some days I feel like I'm in a haze, having an out of body experience, if you will. And on those days I'm listless. Other days I'm so energised, clear-minded and ready to go.
Well, I'm meeting my mentor tomorrow, I hope I experience the latter form of day as I have so many uncertainties and concerns and yet I'm struggling to pen to paper, to form comprehensible questions that I can articulate.
Today I am a tortoise.
Love Lisa.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Monday, May 1, 2017
Feelin' Good
Today was a good day. I think I doubt myself too much.
I have the skills and knowledge to be a very adequate clinician.
I just need to trust in my judgement, because the year is flying by and soon I'll be out in practice making decisions on my own.
I think my exodontia skills, and overall speed have markedly improved and I'm proud.
Think positive thoughts,
Love Lisa.
I have the skills and knowledge to be a very adequate clinician.
I just need to trust in my judgement, because the year is flying by and soon I'll be out in practice making decisions on my own.
I think my exodontia skills, and overall speed have markedly improved and I'm proud.
Think positive thoughts,
Love Lisa.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
So Lucky
So I went through of phase of watching animal documentaries e.g. Blackfish, The Cove
Both of which reminded me how much I love dolphins and whales. I even created a 'website' in primary school about how dolphins should not be captivity. I was obsessed, and then I just forgot about it all one day.
Eventually I found myself to watching Be Here Now, which follows Andy Whitfield's journey with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Andy was the lead in the tv series Spartacus, he was at the pinnacle of his career when he was diagnosed and then all of that vanished.
And so I think to myself, I more or less have no problems compared in my life. But what am I doing to make the most of my life. I feel like it's already slipping away from me. This year I turn 25, a quarter of a century. What are the chances I'd live to 100? Not high (going by general statistics), so what have I done so far, in what is more than a quarter of my life on this earth?
Why do I beat myself up over small, trivial things? I'm constantly wracked with guilt over things I shouldn't even give a second thought to.
I know, I'm still young right, still have plenty of time to change and be better. I am so privileged to be healthy, to have grown up in a loving environment with many friends, to be in a first world country with endless opportunities on my doorstep. But I don't know how to make it happen.
How will I be remembered? Who will remember me?
Is this an almost-quarter life crisis?
Nah, trust me when the quarter life crisis hits there will be no question about it.
That's about enough ruminating for tonight,
Love Lisa.
Both of which reminded me how much I love dolphins and whales. I even created a 'website' in primary school about how dolphins should not be captivity. I was obsessed, and then I just forgot about it all one day.
Eventually I found myself to watching Be Here Now, which follows Andy Whitfield's journey with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Andy was the lead in the tv series Spartacus, he was at the pinnacle of his career when he was diagnosed and then all of that vanished.
And so I think to myself, I more or less have no problems compared in my life. But what am I doing to make the most of my life. I feel like it's already slipping away from me. This year I turn 25, a quarter of a century. What are the chances I'd live to 100? Not high (going by general statistics), so what have I done so far, in what is more than a quarter of my life on this earth?
Why do I beat myself up over small, trivial things? I'm constantly wracked with guilt over things I shouldn't even give a second thought to.
I know, I'm still young right, still have plenty of time to change and be better. I am so privileged to be healthy, to have grown up in a loving environment with many friends, to be in a first world country with endless opportunities on my doorstep. But I don't know how to make it happen.
How will I be remembered? Who will remember me?
Is this blog the only thing that will remain? What a terribly depressing thought.
Is this an almost-quarter life crisis?
Nah, trust me when the quarter life crisis hits there will be no question about it.
That's about enough ruminating for tonight,
Love Lisa.
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Hopeful
It has been a good week.
Today, I did a 25 buccal cusp build up that was aesthetic, smooth and in a fairly decent amount of time.
But wait there's more :o
I actually made a good suggestion to use an intraligamentary injection for LA, which helped to finally anaesthetise a patient who required an extraction. I haven't even done an intraligamentary infiltration before, I've only heard about it in theory. I know it's super lame, but I'm quite proud of myself. It gives me hope since I will be working by myself after this year.
A small win, but every win counts.
I'm also definitely getting faster! About time, right?! I managed to see two patients in 1.5 hours (an hour less than what was scheduled) and finish all my notes in that time, mind you this is with an extreme shortage of dental assistance and waiting on demonstrators to check our work.
:)
Love Lisa.
Today, I did a 25 buccal cusp build up that was aesthetic, smooth and in a fairly decent amount of time.
But wait there's more :o
I actually made a good suggestion to use an intraligamentary injection for LA, which helped to finally anaesthetise a patient who required an extraction. I haven't even done an intraligamentary infiltration before, I've only heard about it in theory. I know it's super lame, but I'm quite proud of myself. It gives me hope since I will be working by myself after this year.
A small win, but every win counts.
I'm also definitely getting faster! About time, right?! I managed to see two patients in 1.5 hours (an hour less than what was scheduled) and finish all my notes in that time, mind you this is with an extreme shortage of dental assistance and waiting on demonstrators to check our work.
:)
Love Lisa.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Later 2016
This has officially been the fastest year of my life.
I feel like the older I get, the faster time is passing me by and I can't catch up.
I know this will sound quite depressing but I do feel like somewhat of a disappointment at the moment. To others and to myself. I can't pinpoint what exactly is the source of this, probably because it's a culmination of many things.
Negativity aside, all in all it has been a good year.
It wasn't easy, in fact, it was one of the hardest years (of uni) but I buckled down and made it through.
I feel like next year will be a big change, I have a different group for placement next year. As much as I've loved my group the past 3 years, maybe it's for the better, maybe I need to get out of my comfort zone. Learn to be more independent.
Here's to 2017, I'll do better I promise.
Just watch me.
Love Lisa.
I feel like the older I get, the faster time is passing me by and I can't catch up.
I know this will sound quite depressing but I do feel like somewhat of a disappointment at the moment. To others and to myself. I can't pinpoint what exactly is the source of this, probably because it's a culmination of many things.
Negativity aside, all in all it has been a good year.
It wasn't easy, in fact, it was one of the hardest years (of uni) but I buckled down and made it through.
I feel like next year will be a big change, I have a different group for placement next year. As much as I've loved my group the past 3 years, maybe it's for the better, maybe I need to get out of my comfort zone. Learn to be more independent.
Here's to 2017, I'll do better I promise.
Just watch me.
Love Lisa.
Friday, December 9, 2016
Square One
Why this long hiatus after I said I would post more often?
Blogger/my internet just has not been loading the new post page until today. Ridiculous I know.
It's been so long since I've written anything meaningful I think I've actually forgotten how to really write. I feel like I have the English language skills of a 15 year old.
Just another thing I was once good at, but am no longer.
So we started treating patients at MDC, a private clinic owned by the uni. Honestly, when I first started, I hated it. I felt like it was my first day treating a patient ever, I felt so slow and useless. I guess I hated my own incompetency rather than the actual clinic.
And I'm sure that's how I'll feel once I get out into the real world and it terrifies me.
I know no one is great when they first start out, and surely in the whole scheme of things I'm actually not half bad. But the self-doubt is suffocating.
Which leads me to my next nightmare. How do I find a job. I don't even know where to start, and I know you might be thinking I have another whole year but it's hard pressed finding a job in dentistry these days. From what I heard as week or two ago, only 3 of this year's graduates had secured jobs. Not saying the rest won't be able to find jobs but it's tough.
So in my 'holidays' thus far, I've been working (clinic) and working (retail).
I would really really love to pick up something next year. I'm considering kick boxing. I want something to aim towards that will be fun and improve my fitness.
The one thing I really need to keep in check is my diet. Once I start exercising I become ravenous, like I will eat non-stop, which really just negates doing exercise in the first place.
Why must hot chips taste so good? Sigh.
Love Lisa.
Blogger/my internet just has not been loading the new post page until today. Ridiculous I know.
It's been so long since I've written anything meaningful I think I've actually forgotten how to really write. I feel like I have the English language skills of a 15 year old.
Just another thing I was once good at, but am no longer.
So we started treating patients at MDC, a private clinic owned by the uni. Honestly, when I first started, I hated it. I felt like it was my first day treating a patient ever, I felt so slow and useless. I guess I hated my own incompetency rather than the actual clinic.
And I'm sure that's how I'll feel once I get out into the real world and it terrifies me.
I know no one is great when they first start out, and surely in the whole scheme of things I'm actually not half bad. But the self-doubt is suffocating.
Which leads me to my next nightmare. How do I find a job. I don't even know where to start, and I know you might be thinking I have another whole year but it's hard pressed finding a job in dentistry these days. From what I heard as week or two ago, only 3 of this year's graduates had secured jobs. Not saying the rest won't be able to find jobs but it's tough.
So in my 'holidays' thus far, I've been working (clinic) and working (retail).
I would really really love to pick up something next year. I'm considering kick boxing. I want something to aim towards that will be fun and improve my fitness.
The one thing I really need to keep in check is my diet. Once I start exercising I become ravenous, like I will eat non-stop, which really just negates doing exercise in the first place.
Why must hot chips taste so good? Sigh.
Love Lisa.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Beginning of the End
I'm far too sleepy to write a long post.
4 key things happened today:
Now that uni's out, surely I can post more consistently, right?!
Love Lisa.
4 key things happened today:
- Finished my 8th and last (viva voce) exam for the year - it did not go well but I'm glad its over
- Donald Trump = POTUS
- Cuddled an adorable 12 week old puppy
- Levelled up to 26 in Pokemon Go (yes, that's right I'm still playing), after at least a month or more on level 25
Now that uni's out, surely I can post more consistently, right?!
Love Lisa.
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