tantaliseyourmind

*never ending steam of updates here

Yeah sorry other posts are on hiatus. Don't want the world to think I'm insane even if I am.

Forgive me that I don't want to annoy you with my whining, why do you want to hear about my loneliness, about how much I don't understand?
There's not even a specific event or person I need to attribute my feelings to any more. All I need is silence, one moment of silence and the throbbing pain is back. The cold empty longing, the longing for no reason that I can explain anymore.
I have done next to nothing today. I know I might be able to distract myself once I started with work, but picking up a pen seems far too difficult. I'd rather sit and wallow in self pity. I'll take the easy option for once.

Aww I love my parents, they've always been on my case so how could I not expect them to see that something's up.
And they walk into my room both wearing black leather jackets and dad's like, yeah we're the mafia.
Hahahah, how could I not smile at that, and just like that I forgot what I felt for a minute or two.
I take back what I said, I'm not alone at home, I just don't let myself see how much they care. This is why my mum always tried to protect me, I could tell all, spill all, but I literally could not explain it all.
Honesty honesty, I speak about it, I speak of trust, but I had my own web of lies, but that was created for you, so I could be with you. The difference is, I didn't deceive you.
Does that mean I have no right to moan on and on about how you should have told me?
I don't know.

On a side note, my brother too.
He helps me so much, and he is an adult, he has his own life. I definitely don't thank him enough.