Naive As Ever

& most likely forever. Oh well, at least the only person it affects is me.
I can almost taste the sweet sweet irony, it's just so blatantly obvious that it makes me want to kick something (not something alive).
It's just me against the world, turning everyone against me while hopelessly wanting the exact opposite.
Hormones are getting the better of me in recent days, they actually drive me up the walls.

The House of Bernarda Alba, the 3/4 Theatre Studies production was amazing. I can't even describe the atmosphere and very convincing acting.
I got fairly into it.

Sonnet 46
Mine eye and heart are at a mortal war,
How to divide the conquest of thy sight;
Mine eye my heart thy picture's sight would bar,
My heart mine eye the freedom of that right.
My heart doth plead that thou in him dost lie,
A closet never pierc'd with crystal eyes,
But the defendant doth that plea deny,
And says in him thy fair appearance lies.
To 'cide this title is impannelled
A quest of thoughts, all tenants to the heart;
And by their verdict is determined
The clear eye's moiety, and the dear heart's part:
As thus: mine eye's due is thine outward part,
And my heart's right, thine inward love of heart.

If anyone feels stupid it's me, I've said it before but it's hitting just as hard. I'm stupid in ways you wouldn't believe.

Throwing everything aside yet again and again and again, then it just sends me into this ridiculous downwards spiral when the inevitable happens each and every time. I thought I was okay, I thought I've been okay. But the moment I'm at home, I tear myself to shreds.

In the spirit of The House of Bernarda Alba, I have fucking blindfolded myself and the worst part is I know it.

Taking it in turns. Either way I pray I'll make it through exams without having a breakdown.
What an existence I lead.

Still sick, awesome,
Love Lisa.